MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!

So, once again, it's been a while...camp life will do that to ya.

I have AWESOME news though! Yep, I did it, I got into grad school at Eastern Michigan University!!! WOOT!

I'm far too excited to even believe that it's true!

But, of course, they wouldn't just let me in, no. I had to really prove that I wanted to be there. You know what that means...a fight with admissions/processing. Apparently classes that I took during high school at a local university as a part of a high school advanced program I was in, created a little snag. Only admissions didn't tell me about this snag until I called them a week before I was supposed to start my classes!

Long story short, I ran up my cell phone bill going WAY over my minutes for the month on the phone with EMU, Wilkes University and my high school. I think admissions finally got sick of me because they pushed the application through without the official transcript :) SUCCESS!

I move out to Michigan in about 29 hours. I'll be leaving around 4 am to get to housing before they close at 5. Then starting classes on Wednesday! One of my "required" classes is called Feminist Thought...required...HA! Like they'd have to require me to take that class!

I get to meet the rest of my cohort Wednesday too and set up the rest of my schedule. I'm so happy I could burst!

Hey! Do you want to work at a camp? It's AWESOME!

After thinking that I got my mojo back I was actually turned down for the job I most wanted at UMass and one of my really god friends was hired instead...yeah it kinda hurt a bit. I was being down on myself and not really doing much for a day or two and then the Friday after my last post I get this call... It's this guy named Layton and he says he wanted to know if a) I had found summer employment and b) if not, would I be interested in working at a camp... I said a) no and b) potentially. I had never heard of the camp before...why? Its in Maine...yeah I'm not from Maine, so I had to check this out before driving 9 hours. He tells me he needs me to call him back the next day.

So, I check out their website. It looks legit. My mother kindly butts in that she's sure if Charles Manson had a recruitment website, it would probably look legit too...she had a point, but I was in a funk after that rejection and I needed to do something...even if it was getting murdered in the middle of the woods in Maine. So I called Layton back and he told me to be there on Monday.

Monday came around and I was supposed to leave around 9am so I'd get there when it was still light out...haha things didn't quite work out like that and I didn't end up leaving until 1pm, which meant that I wasn't going to be arriving until 10pm.

Camp, of course, was in the middle of the woods. As I'm driving down this winding dirt driveway, in the dead of night, with no lights or people anywhere, I was thinking about calling my mom to have someone to be witness to my murder...then I thought about it and wouldn't want to here the "I told you so" that would DEFINITELY ensue. So there I was, convinced I was about to die alone in bumblefuck Maine. I parked next to another car at the end of the driveway and try to get the courage to walk to the shack-like building that says "Office" and has a light on. All these peppy perky people great me and it stead of being relieved I'm pretty sure my reaction was "Oh fuck I'm joining a cult"

To make a long story short (er) I've been working at a camp in Maine since then. It's a real camp and after a little bit of a bumpy start, I absolutely love it here! (Maybe it is a cult! Shit I did drink the bug juice...is that like kool-aid?!?)

Sometimes everything works out for the best. I'm really glad I didn't get that job at UMass and ended up here, besides, my friend absolutely hated it there and said it was horrible.

I've got my mojo back!

After spending months thinking I've lost it all, I finally got my mojo back!

This past week has been just what I needed! I spent some amazing quality time with my best friend and been applying for jobs like crazy and it all paid off!

My best friend and I, along with another friend have decided that we're going to work together on a blog (sounds crazy right? Me? Blogging? hmm). I didn't come up with the idea, that would be Gracie (her blogger name). It's going to be a blog about finding love in the 21st century with some interesting twists. We're exploring online dating from a few different perspective and I'll be doing a lot of backgroud research and coming up with questionnaires, multi-generational interviews, exposing LGBT diversity and so much more(FUN!). Well the idea is good, I'm just worried about the follow through...we'll see where it goes.

Any way, the real excitement all came from today. I started off the day with a bang; working through the night on my pet project for V-Day (an organization dedicated to ending violence against women). Then I went to Barnes&Noble for coffee and more writing time. When I got home the magic happened. It was like everything I've been hoping would come through for me suddenly did.

I got an e-mail telling me that I'm going to e the new freelance feminism writer for the Scranton Examiner. Then I got a phone call asking me to come in for another job interview next Wednesday and the woman seemed super nice (I'm secretely hoping it'll be one of those interviews that turns into a "Well, this is what you're going to be doing...how's Monday work as a starting date?" kind of interview. THEN I got an e-mail fom my hall director telling me about ANOTHER job! This one is the best of all! It'll be working for a summer program for high school students (like the summer jobs I've worked for the past two years) at UMass Amherst! It's an amazing opportunity and I really hope I get it.

Aside from all the jobs, one of my recommenders for grad school e-mailed me today, yep the one I couldn't get in touch with. Turns out she's not teaching this summer so she hasn't been checking her e-mail. She's now sending the letter off right away and I couldn't be happier...I mean she is th person I talked up in my personal statement and all...

I really couldn't believe that all of this was happening in the course of an hour! Every time my phone rang or sang to me it was informing me of another job or congratulating me! Yeah, it was an awesome sauce feeling to have things come together like that all of the sudden.

The only bump in the road is that one of my best friends from college is also applying for the UMass job and she wants it just as bad as I do, if not more. My fear is that she'll be angry at me for applying and when she was telling me how badly she wanted this job I felt so guilty, but I can't let it stop me, right? Well I've sort of already decided that if I get the job and she doesn't I'm turning it down and asking that she be hired instead. I know me asking that probably won't make a difference, but I'm not going to accpet if she doesn't get it...the guilt might kill me. It just goes to show how much her friendship means to me I guess...*sigh*

Well that's the story of the amazing day of amazingness where I got my mojo back...short sweet and to the point, just like me...usually

We're pretty and sick, We're young and we're bored

It's been three weeks since graduation and already I can feel all of my knowledge slowly being sucked out of my brain through a straw. It's a painfully frustrating experience. I'm not used to being so bored, I always have things to do, papers to write, things to organize or direct...

Being bored is not something I'm used to...it just doesn't feel right.

Now I just feel like I have nothing; no purpose or reason. Ugh! It's awful!

I want to be able to wake up in the morning and know that I'm going to graduate school, that I'm going to be better, that I have purpose and reason. It's kind of pathetic to think that I'm basing my whole reason for existance around this one thing, but it's what I want most in the world and I'll fight for it if I have to. I say that as if there's something I can do if I'm not accepted, like if I e-mail or call enough people they'll say "Just let her in already"...I'm pretty sure thats not how it works. In fact that would probably work against me.

I just hate this waiting game I'm stuck in now. And I hate Hate HATE depending on other people. I'm only waiting on recommendation letters now. I actually have three going to Eastern Michigan because the president of my university said she'd love to write one for me, so I figured it couldn't hurt, right. Then I have one from my psychology advisor, who is awesome, and one from one of my Women's Studies professors, Dr. S, also awesome. The only problem is I'm still waiting for them. The president has sent hers in and my advisor told me it would be after today (memorial day) that they would be sent in, but it's my Women's Studies prof I'm freaking out about. I've e-mailed her a few times and she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I don't know what to do. I mean it's WS programs that I'm applying to and I wrote about how much this prof inspires me in my personal statement and now I'm just going to look stupid if she doesn't end up writing/sending it. I won't even have a recommendation from someone in our WS department...ugh I'm going to look like an idiot...Maybe I'll e-mail my WS advisor, she might know a better way to get in contact with Dr. S...hmm...

Any advise?

Post-Graduation Pre-Grad School Job Hunt

Today was filled with applications of a different nature. As any recent college graduate knows it’s that ever important time of Post-Graduation Pre-Grad School Job Hunt! Very exciting stuff I know.

Reasons I need a job (or two):

1. I don’t currently have one
2. I’m broke
3. I don’t particularly want to live with my parents
4. I’m broke
5. Grad School is not going to pay for itself
6. I’m broke
7. Money pays bills (e.g. Cell Phone, car insurance, gas, new parts for a broken computer, etc.)
8. Did I mention I’m broke?

So I’ve been spending the past few days putting in applications…once again I feel like I have applications out the wing wang. Today alone I applied for 8 jobs…5 others two days ago. I’m hoping to get one…two would be nice.

Listen to this though…I’m a college graduate with a B. S. in Psychology, counseling concentration minors in French and Women’s Studies and the jobs I’ve applied for: Lowes, Sneaker King, Bed Bath and Beyond, Borders, Barnes and Noble, Party City…you get the hint.

It’s only because I’m hoping it will only be a summer job, after all I need to go to grad school in the fall, right? So applying for a “real” job would be a waste of time for them and me. I considered it though. Looking into jobs at Mental Health Services, Treatment facilities, etc. I’m qualified for them, but they all state: THIS IS NOT A SUMMER JOB…just like that too.

So, what am I supposed to do? Anticipate failure of the grad school dream and try for a “real” job? Or suffer through a shitty summer job or two for a while? I’m thinking summer job or two because even if I don’t get in *dies inside at the thought* I’ll be able to apply for “real” jobs later and still make some money to get by until then.

I'm thinking of just carrying around a sign that says "They let me graduate, Please Hire me!" Or something to that effect

Good things happen in 3's too!, ya know

OK so last post's little freak out, I'm pretty sure that was stress, no sleep, and Amp induced. I now know not to drink that many energy drinks and attempt to communicate with people at the same time. It's a bad idea.

Anyway, some very exciting things have happened since last post....

1.) Paper Palooza was a success! I finished my independent study paper...34 pages of it thank you very much! And got an A on it...way to go research!

2.) I Graduated! Wooo Hooo! Yep, Saturday May 7th 2011, I received my B.S in Psychology, counseling concentration with Minors in French and Women's Studies. Does that make me an eligible bachelorette? Ha ha. If EMU is looking, I'm definitely eligible!  I guess this means I'm no longer psych undergrad, but oh well the name will remain the same until grad school happens

3.) Personal statement and CV have been written and are DONE! Par-Tay! I know, it's too exciting for words...I'll just take this short dance party break right now...

Yes that was 3 minutes and 47 seconds of me jumping like a nut! And apparently this song's music video is an epic chase scene...fitting. My personal statement was finished last night/this morning. I decided last night that I needed to get it done today. So, I submitted my application for Eastern Michigan and paid the app fee to motivate myself. Then I figured since I had been writing a lot by hand lately I'd start writing out the parts I was going to keep last night, figuring why wait. Well 15 minutes into writing it just hit me what I needed to do to connect it all and cut out the parts that needed to go. I was typing for no more than an hour and it was done. Plus I had it proof read last night, then sent it and my finished CV (also finished earlier yesterday) off to Eastern Michigan.

Then this morning I e-mailed everyone who said they'd give me recommendations. The President got back to me right away, she always does. No word yet from the other two, which slightly worries me...but no negativity in this post, just awesomeness!

I haven't felt this relaxed and at ease in a while. It's like the weight of the world was just lifted off me.

Now I just need to finish my History of Witches paper (I asked for an extension/ incomplete) and return these library books next week because they are SO overdue. And I guess I should tweak my personal statement a little for Towson...you know like take out how much I love Eastern Michigan and how awesome I think they are and which faculty at EMU I'd like to work with...they might appreciate that...

Mental Breakdowns, $225 worth of cookies, doughnuts and cupcakes, and SpagettiOs

Sometimes, it's the most random things that get you through the day.

Take today for example. I was told I wasn't going to be allowed to graduate. Why? Parking tickets. Are you SERIOUS?

Naturally that's where the mental breakdown came into play. There was many tears, angry ranting, falling asleep in the shower (because of a significant lack of sleep) and hugs from my department chair (AcKwArD)...

I freaked out to the point that I thought my whole life was ruined, over, done.

Then I went and talked to my department chair. I had no one else to go to at that point because my boss (ya know, in the counseling center) was like "Shut up and go write a paper or something". How sensitive of you!

Well, my department chair (in psych of course) is infamous for giving hugs. I forgot this before I showed up at his office hysterically crying. After hugging me, he, the calm logical one, proceeded to figure out a plan. Turns out the po-po lied. I'm not being prevented from graduating, they're just going to hold that little piece of paper that says I graduated hostage for a bit...until I have the money to pay up.

Then we talked about everything else that happened today, like my phone being disconnected because I can't afford my bills since someone t-boned me and took off during spring break and I lost my job because my father held my car hostage for a month (yeah I'm used to people holding things hostage from me). Also talked abouthow it seems like everyone in my family decided to e-mail me and tell me how much of a fuck up I am. Like, my mother, who told me that she doesn't see how I can possibly thing grad school is a good idea. At that point I told her as politely as possible to fuck off. And, of course, when I say that I mean I just told her to fuck off and figured that was being polite.

Then my father decided to contact me via my aunt. Se asked me when I was going to send him tickets to graduation....hahaha, that's funny. You mean I was supposed to invite him after he held my car hostage for a month and lost me my job because of it, which is why I now can't afford my bills? Or did you mean I was supposed to invite him after he told me that I was disowned not two months ago? Either way, she got the same answer my mother did and I'm hoping she relays the message back to daddy dearest.

Yeah it was a bad day.

So I went to work at the counseling center for the night and at that point I was being as blunt as humanly possible. I had a can of SpagettiOs that I wanted to eat, but no can openner...DILEMMA! So everyone that passed I asked if they had one. Finally one of my friends took it over to the cafe-ish thing on campus and asked them to open it for me...sweet satisfaction at last!

Then I decided, eventually I was going to need a break from paper writing, so at 7:30 I went with one of the hall directors (who happens to be cool as shit<--not literal) to Wal-Mart, where, for a program, we bought $225 worth of cookies, cupcakes, doughnuts and brownies...walking through the isles with all that was the best! The looks on people's faces made everything seem so funny. The we get to the check out and the cashier didn't say anything for a bit. Finally she was like"...So I gotta ask..." Who wouldn't have to ask about that?!?


So now that its 2:42am and I've given myself a break from this seemingly non-stop paper writing, I'm going to get back to that non-stop paper writing...3 more days...just have to get through the next 3 days, get everything done, not have a breakdown and graduate...the rest can wait.