We're pretty and sick, We're young and we're bored

It's been three weeks since graduation and already I can feel all of my knowledge slowly being sucked out of my brain through a straw. It's a painfully frustrating experience. I'm not used to being so bored, I always have things to do, papers to write, things to organize or direct...

Being bored is not something I'm used to...it just doesn't feel right.

Now I just feel like I have nothing; no purpose or reason. Ugh! It's awful!

I want to be able to wake up in the morning and know that I'm going to graduate school, that I'm going to be better, that I have purpose and reason. It's kind of pathetic to think that I'm basing my whole reason for existance around this one thing, but it's what I want most in the world and I'll fight for it if I have to. I say that as if there's something I can do if I'm not accepted, like if I e-mail or call enough people they'll say "Just let her in already"...I'm pretty sure thats not how it works. In fact that would probably work against me.

I just hate this waiting game I'm stuck in now. And I hate Hate HATE depending on other people. I'm only waiting on recommendation letters now. I actually have three going to Eastern Michigan because the president of my university said she'd love to write one for me, so I figured it couldn't hurt, right. Then I have one from my psychology advisor, who is awesome, and one from one of my Women's Studies professors, Dr. S, also awesome. The only problem is I'm still waiting for them. The president has sent hers in and my advisor told me it would be after today (memorial day) that they would be sent in, but it's my Women's Studies prof I'm freaking out about. I've e-mailed her a few times and she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I don't know what to do. I mean it's WS programs that I'm applying to and I wrote about how much this prof inspires me in my personal statement and now I'm just going to look stupid if she doesn't end up writing/sending it. I won't even have a recommendation from someone in our WS department...ugh I'm going to look like an idiot...Maybe I'll e-mail my WS advisor, she might know a better way to get in contact with Dr. S...hmm...

Any advise?